school daze (ahh, the cliches are astounding)

It's about time to tell you a bit about my life here, everyday, because it's not regular occurance for me to travel and embark on journeys all the time - no, I hold a student visa, am on an educational exchange, and so attend school. 
aren't they adorable? 

it's the most incredible thing here.
  my classmates have known each other since they were 10. Since they made the crucial decision to take the "realistic" course, the science and math route, they've endured the ups and downs of the Austrian school system together. Ups: independence, self sufficiency, flexibility. Downs: unconsistancy, lack of attention from unmotivated professors, precious little incentive. The class is small - about 18 - and dwindled further when they turned 13 and went into the 4th class. Half the class left to go to other educational institutions (specialty schools, easier high schools) and now the rest is who I know and have grown to love. Sure, they are like any other group of teenagers: not void of cliques, stereotypes, emotional baggage with each other, lack of privacy. It was difficult to delve into the complexity of a class who had spent their entire school careers together, and still it remains. I feel like an intruder often. Their last year, before Matura, interrupted by a hopeless American foreign exchange student who sits in the back of the class like a juvenile delinquent and accomplishes the pointless. I hope to fracture this enclosed circle of friendship. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't mind being alone. I rarely make an effort to make friends - but I'm content with a small but good number. Here, I am not. Austrian relationships have changed my outlook on thinking: friends for life, freunde fürs leben. 

I've learned a lot from school, not all necessarily academic. I've discovered the importance of ambition and self drive. How education is such a privilege. Procrastination hurts, just get it done. Multi tasking is possibly the greatest talent one can possess with a mound of work looming ahead. School has helped me sort out a few things; the school day is usually 6 hours long, and 2-3 of those hours are thinking in German, listening to German, and reading in German. The others are usually dedicated to day-dreaming, thinking, and observing. I wrote earlier in the year that "thoughts are the single most dangerous thing an exchange student can encounter" and it still holds true. 

However school isn't always so serious. I laugh often. I smile often (especially when I don't understand something). my classmates are endearing. 
there are things I'll never understand, even after this year.
1. unidentified flying objects. I have been hit with countless pieces of paper, gum, a football, books, a slipper, erasers, and god knows what in the classroom. A wadded up piece of paper wizzes past my nose as I read. I send an sms to a fellow exchange student, I feel something faint brush my shoulder. I get hit on the side of the head as I walk down the corridors at school to buy pretzel bread with a football - a betrayal, as it is an American football. A vengeful classmate levies a marker at another, and lucky me is in the middle. I am terrified of flying objects now. Austrian boys seem to have the weirdest obsession with throwing things. I am usually a causality in their never ending wars, however the other girls and I are also frequent targets. The other exchange students and I have discussed  Austrian males' love of the flight, and have come to no reasonable conclusion. It is so peculiar. 
2. snow. that snow. that pesky, wet, disgustingly useless mound of white sitting outside our classroom. the hindrances it generously provides. ugh, der schnee. and when the foreign exchange student comes bouncing into the classroom singing "let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!" well that's just the jam on top of our sachertorte. 
3. slap happiness. When Austrians get excited, they slap your legs, arms, whatever. Enough said. 
4. chatter boxes. Fruitful conversations. They talk during the breaks, they talk during work time, they talk when the professor talks - and promptly glares, they talk talk talk.  Not even a scowl from the most loathed professor, a Viennese 20 something with an art degree, discourages these passionate lovers of the vocal word. 
5. entschuldiung!  unabashedly says Marius, with an demeanor of unperturbedness and coolness ..he strolls to his seat - motorcycle helmet resting on the hips, clutched by a carefree hand and an unruffled spirit - and sinks into his seat, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. The professor glances up from her work briefly, and only offers a brisk nod and a lukewarm "Guten Morgen". The flexibility here to tardiness is astounding. 
6. games. I look to my left, there's a classmate with his gameboy under his desk and his thumbs in a flurry. I look to my right, and there's a group of boys surrounding one with his phone, playing a game. I look up, and the glow from a city of handheld PSPs and DSs illuminates the ceiling. sigh. 
7. DEUTSCHSPRECHEN! du musst mit der Austauschschülerin nur deutsch sprechen! Mein Gott, und du, die Libbi, musst Deutsch lernen. Come on now. Even though we have an English and High German matura, and half the class is miserably failing, let's not converse with the fluent foreign exchange student even though it might benefit us! 

the school.
the work.
the work?
their work.
the classroom.

the cozy window seat in the library that is mine

mein Vater kommt nach Österreich in zwei wochen für Weihnachtszeit. ich freue mich, sehr :)


I love to live and I live to love

the times we've had together. 
the laughs we've shared - the cries. we've been though  the toughest of times and the most marvelous. 
oh what you have brought out - lured, entranced, coaxed - of this infirm vulnerable little body in another life
something beautiful and buried
you fought for it, didn't you?

But you knew.
my resistance was and continues to be futile in lights of your vainglorious persistance. for if any country is able to possess the sin of unadulterated and pure pride, it would be you dearest Austria. red white red red white red red white red. those colors represent mistakes and redemption. bluntness, decisiveness. power. strength. the legacy of a dynasty and an empire that ruled the ancient world.
I knew when the tip of my toes brushed the Austrian soil apprehensively stepping off Flight 3632 Frankfurt to Graz nonstop, heart faltering and hands fluttering, that my life would never be the same. No, I would not board my plane back to America as the same person with that attitude, that demeanor, those experiences - no, because Austria, you are in intertwined into my thoughts. Everything is a pre Austria and in time there will be a post Austria. One monumenteous step marked my world as I know it, for this, one of discoveries of the divinest kind and unstable sentiments, is my life now. 

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver

so here's to the future, 9 months. 
our love is beautiful.
coming here, I constructed a list of goals...one is put love in a person or place. I believe I have found success :)

(It's the most eerie thought that I am now immune to sights that 3 months ago would of induced peals of rapture and appreciation...my environment is no longer unfamiliar, hearing German constantly doesn't excite me (no, understanding excites me!). How lovely and terrible it is to have resistance to such a magnificent city. )



"Oh," cried Marianne, "with what transporting sensations have I formerly seen them fall! How have I delighted as I walked to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! What feelings have they, the season, the air, altogether inspired! Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight."

"It is not everyone," said Elinor, "who has your passion for dead leaves."
-Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen 

oh, Austria....


I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself. (James Baldwin)

oh these autumn days, see how they glow?

It is desperately beautiful in Austria - simply glorious - as autumn comes to a sudden halt, as it's preceder summer did before, and dawn of winter starts to set in. The weather is indecisive and neurotic; I am in peals of admiration. One day blue sky is in abundance and then next day rain shatters down upon the earth with an angry roar. Fog curls around the Klagenfurt valley in the morning and vanishes by afternoon. The sun glares, hides, and smiles. The Karawanken mountains loom outside my window, snow capped. A sea of the most brilliant scarlets and golds dot the landscape. My camera is always in hand...I wish this fall could be everlasting, perfection frozen in time. Leaves crunch under my feet as I walk, my breath meanders into the crisp of the air and gently melts away, to join the receding clouds above but so close. I dread the fury of the winter, when I am in love with autumn the pacifist.

With Rotary, I went to Vienna for weekend (hence the name, "Wien Wochenende") with heightened apprehensions and expectations. Vienna is one of the crown cities of Austria, of Europe, of the world. It is a name identified with pure majesty and absolute glory, a city built for royalty. Vienna did not disappoint. It was everything I had ever imagined. 

The night before, two other exchangers from my state (Carinthia) stayed over in order to catch the train to Vienna...the Southern Austrians generally do things together, especially something as crucial as trains. Nolan (USA to Millstatt) and Chantel (Canada to Paternion) and I met with our oldie from Australia, Julia...from there, we traveled an excruciating 5 hours to Vienna via train, meeting up with Erika (USA to Leoben), Elise (Australia to Judenburg), Kieran (New Zealand to Graz), and Ben (Canada to Graz) in various locations. Of course it was lovely, simply lovely to see one another again, but we were eager to get to Vienna. 

Arriving in Vienna, we were greeted with the coldest, most bone chilling wind I've ever felt...it about nearly swept us off our feet and froze our lips and fingertips into blue. Stumbling in treacherous heels and luggage, I and the others made our way blindly through the narrow streets to the youth hostel not pausing through the numb of the cold to look up at our surroundings. When we made it to the hostel, we were greeted with the realization that we were only the second group to arrive (exchangers come in groups: Southern Austria, Linz, Bregenz, Salzburg, Vienna, Innsbruck, and random) and so we began the tedious act of waiting for the others...apprehension shared, enjoyed, and in profusion...anticipation. When everyone arrived, the last few stragglers floating through the door, it was chaos. Exchange students reuniting after 4 weeks...it was like Tauplitz but different. Tauplitz was more at the beginning of our exchange...we've all had time to adjust to school, our host families, and life away from each other. Many friends who I hadn't seen in quite sometime remarked that I had a different aura about me...more mature, serious, a bit darker...this is vaguely frightening. I am being forced to mature at alarming speeds subconciously because it is not willingly or unwillingly...it has been Austria's influence. Reflecting; there is a lot I would do to get my naive, young self back, one who dreamed about anything and everything; saw rainbows and sunshine in the most dire of situations; embraced limitations. This is how I came to Austria. But I am sure of my new, Europe induced self: loving with reckless abandon; head firmly on Earth; cynical yet optimistic; going with the flow no matter how difficult (and it has been a journey letting go of my control...realizing that I can't control every situation or take on every problem). 

Most of our time was spent experiencing Viennese culture...cafes, the nightlife, the theater, touring, shopping, it was incredible. The city is living, breathing, and alive. The architecture, breathtaking. I felt transported to a time when ageless, romantic beauty over sensibility existed. Maria Theresa, Sissi, ...it was empowering to be in a city that for so long had been the home of these feministic women, reforming and defying the rules of the royal court. Going through the royal palace I felt as if in a dream...if not in a field of gaping and equally awestruck tourists, I would of danced and floated though out the maze of ballrooms and the assorted. Just the thought of being in Vienna...it was my eye opener, letting me know, yes Libbi, you are in Austria and living the exchange student life. Even being here for two and a half months, it's been hard to accept that this is now my life because it still seems like a dream!

I say this nearly every time, but being with exchange students is the best part. When you are solo, independent, and without a family in a foreign country, the people who you can firstly relate to, understand you, spend much of your time with become family. They fill that void. These exchange students have become that family. Every opportunity to spend with them, I jump at it...for many of them, it is too early to express these feelings so bluntly but I know what we will become at the end of this year: inseperable, if we are so close at this time in the year. There are a select few that I am for certain that I will keep in touch with. 

ohhh, Canada

one American

three Americans

five Americans
What I've been up to:

some exploring. 

leaf that looks like a rhino BAM
castle in Spittal, anyone?

live autumn to it's fullest.


let's see how far we've come

so firstly I must congratulate myself and everyone else on a two months well done. 
Has it really been two months? Have I really made it through two entire months? The answer is yes, and they've been easily the best two months of my hectic 16 years. Two months of tears and laughter. Exploration of the purest kind. Two months of appreciation. Discoveries, some failures and some successes. I have discovered my love of all things historic and blissfully beautiful. My voice in ink and paper. Myself as a individual (still working on that one) and my place in this world that changes as quickly as seasons. My love for a obscure nation that boasts glittering cities and snowy peaks that touch heaven and beyond...overshadowed by it's older brother Germany and little sister Switzerland... Austria has captivated me heart, body, and soul, and when the time comes, my heart will break into two when I must leave my country as it did when I left the USA. 
It's the most terrible feeling when you feel properly torn between two places...one thing I could of never prepared myself for was how much of a genuine fondness I have for Austria...my relationship with this country goes deeper than skin. I miss the USA incredibly however the sense of worldliness Austria is teaching me is something irreplaceable.  

I celebrated my anniversary in Graz, Austria. Graz is where I landed, took my first steps on Austrian soil, met my host family, and took my first glances of Austria, wondering what I was getting myself into and preparing myself for my new life. Many feelings are connected intricately to Graz because I arrived there August 11th, 4 pm. 
my anniversary dinner: apfelstrudel and heisse schokolade
Graz is the 2nd largest city in Austria, and relatively close to me...I've found myself going there often, sometimes exclusively with my host mum, sometimes to meet exchange students. A car ride is a tedious 1.5 hours, a train is 13.40 Euros and a lovely 2 hours. Graz, to me, is a simply a bigger Klagenfurt. They share the same charm, elaboration, and Austrian beauty. I believe it is hard for Americans to understand how a city can be beautiful...when we don't really have any truly beautiful cities. We've got dazzling cities. Overwhelming cities, astonishing cities, extraordinary cities, but nothing breathtaking. When you enter Graz's Hauptplatz, you literally gasp. 

Jackie: from Canada living in Vienna. Graz is in the middle :)


heisse schokolade...a delicate process.


 “Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese